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Forgive Until it Hurts

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32

Over the course of my life, I've heard so many quotes or sayings about forgiveness (or the lack of forgiveness).  Here are a few of my favorites:
  • "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." ~ Lewis B. Smedes
  • “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” ~ Nelson Mandela
  • “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” ~ C.S. Lewis
  • “To err is human, to forgive, divine.”  ~ Alexander Pope
  • “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” ~ Confucius

As good as those are, the Bible is full of beautiful verses on forgiveness.  It not only tells us what forgiveness is, it shows us a vivid picture of what it looks like.

The Christian world has recently spent time reflecting on the cross.  We were reminded of the pain and torment that Jesus suffered in order to provide atonement for our sins.  We pondered on the cruelty of the practice of crucifixion and how inhumane it was compared to today's forms of capital punishment. 

But whenever I think about the cross, I can't help but think about forgiveness.  In all of its pain and ridicule, forgiveness was at the very heart of what Jesus went through.  He not only spoke forgiveness to his persecutors as He was hanging there, but He was offering forgiveness to all of mankind for all of their past, present, and future sins.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."  Luke 23:34
 
When Jesus had been asked by the disciples on a previous occasion what true forgiveness entailed, He instructed them that forgiveness should be offered to someone who has offended you as many times as an offense occurs.  He then explained more clearly the need for unlimited forgiveness by telling them the parable of the servant who was forgiven a debt by his master, only to withold forgiveness of a debt to someone else.  He told His disciples that if they wanted their Heavenly Father to forgive their sins, then they had to forgive the sins of others.
 
Jesus literally practiced what He preached while He was hanging on the cross.  He was forgiving the debts of all of us because we had a debt that we could not pay.  The forgiveness that He offered to us was physically painful for Him.  Our debts were great and required a great sacrifice.
 
Whenever we think about unforgiveness that we harbor in our hearts towards a friend, family member, co-worker, or fellow Christian, we tend to dwell on the pain that was caused.  We like to think that our pain or hurt must necessitate a time of anger and unforgiveness.  We think that extending forgiveness would be too costly or painful.
 
Well, if our life is supposed to look like Christ's, then the forgiveness that we offer others WILL hurt us.  Didn't the forgiveness that was offered to us by Christ cause Him great pain?
 
Thankfully, the pain that we will endure will resemble nothing of Christ's pain.  Yes, it might hurt a little if we have to swallow our pride in order to be the bigger person.  Or we might have to look past a series of repetitive offenses that truly cut us deep.  But if we haven't hurt a little bit in the process, then we haven't really identified with Christ.   
 
Who needs your forgiveness today? 
 
Do you forgive quickly, or do you tend to hold onto the offenses of others?
 
How has God spoken to you today about your capacity to forgive?
 
If we truly want to look like Christ, then forgiveness has to be at the very center of our lives.  We, like Christ, have to forgive . . . even when it hurts.

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