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Fully Exposed

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways."  Psalm 139:1-3

Well, I finally did it.  I finally became a full fledged preacher's wife!  Yes, I've technically been one for thirteen years, but it wasn't completely official until last Sunday.

It was a very normal Sunday morning.  Preacher-hubby was out the door bright and early to be at church for our early service.  I was at home in a somewhat state of shock because the devil hadn't reared his nasty head in our house that morning!  The kids were interacting peacefully with each other.  Breakfast was eaten, Sunday lunch was prepped and ready to be eaten when we got home, and everyone had gotten what we call "out the door ready" in a very timely fashion. 

(Don't even think about coveting our Sunday morning routine because all of these things rarely happen at the same time on most Sundays!)

We hopped in the car and made our two mile trek to church, singing praise songs all the way there.  Isn't this such a beautiful picture?  Just wait . . .

We arrive at church and the kids make their way to their Sunday School classes and I head for mine, passing several people along the way, as well as walking through a rather large couples class in order to get to my class.  That's when it happened.

I walked into my room full of ladies (Thank God!) when I was quickly alerted that the back of my long, flowing skirt was tucked up into the top of it!  I was mortified!  I quickly back-tracked in my mind as I wondered who all had potentially seen my backside as I meandered into church that morning.

I laughed it off with my fellow sisters in Christ, trying to make the humiliation of it all a little easier to bear.  It was then that I felt that I had finally walked through my last 'rite of passage' to becoming an official preacher's wife.

You see, I've heard so many stories of preacher's wives doing such things as I did that Sunday.  I think God allows those unfortunate events to happen to us to show our church that there is absolutely no need to place us or our families on a divine pedestal.  We are completely human and we are no strangers of life's unfortunate mishaps.  We are real people who have real problems and real failures.

After quickly remedying my skirt debacle, I sat and thought about how vulnerable I felt when I realized that I had been fully exposed.  Full exposure is something that Christian's today rarely practice.  We'll put on everything from a spiritual 'Snuggie' to a sacred ski mask to keep from uncovering who we really are before our fellow man.

What I learned in a very brief moment of humiliation is that I stand fully exposed before the Lord every single day.  As hard as I might try to keep the world from seeing the "true me," God sees it all. 
  • He sees the times that our sinful thoughts don't match the super-spiritual words that come out of our mouths. 
  • He sees our insatiable desire for more "stuff" because we can't find true contentment in Him and with what He has already blessed us with. 
  • He sees the true motives behind our kind deed that we do for our co-worker or boss. 
  • He sees the true spirit behind which we give our money and resources to His church or to those in need.
I find myself saying this about so many Psalms, but Psalm 139 is one of my favorites.  It is a comforting psalm, but also a confronting psalm.  I use the word 'confronting' because it confronts me with the fact that God knows me even better than I know myself.  Yes, that comforts me, but it also confronts me because I then must be honest with myself about who I really am as I stand before an all-knowing God.

I can deceive the world about my true nature, but I can't deceive God.  I can even have myself deceived about it, but I can't deceive God. 

I challenge you to take some time today to read the beautiful words that the psalmist recorded in Psalm 139.  Read his words with an open heard about what God needs to expose to you today. 

Perhaps He needs you to see that you can't hide anything from Him.  He knows what choices you are going to make even before you make them.  He knows the words you will speak before you even say them.  He knows your thoughts before you even think them.  That's a little scary, huh? 

As I literally stood fully exposed last week before a room full of ladies and countless others who had the misfortune of passing me along the way, will you allow yourself to stand spiritually exposed before God today?  Let Him show you who you really are on the inside, even though you might be trying to fool yourself and everyone else on the outside.


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